The Dog Poem: House Rules
Joan Shapiro
No Howlies, No Growlies
No Climbies, No Whinies,
No Barkies, No Bities,
and No Doggie Fighties!
No Tickies, No Sickies.
No Bumpies, No Lumpies;
No Jumpies, No Grumpies,
and No Doggy Humpies!
No Barfies, No Arfies.
No Chewies, No Gooeys,
No Yippies, No Nippies,
No Yappies, No Snappies.
No Poopees, No Peepees
No Snoopies, No Sneakies,
No Beggies, No Sheddies,
and No Hogging Beddies!
No Trashies, No Crashies,
No Racies, No Chasies,
No Teefies, No Thiefies,
No Fleasies, No Teasies.
No Pawies, No Clawies,
No Rabies, No Babies,
No Lickies on Ickies,
No Wetting, Just Petting.
No Mumblies, No Grumblies.
No Rompies, No Chompies.
No Sniffies, No Whiffies,
And Come in a Jiffy.
No Crabbies, No Grabbies,
No Pouties, No Snouties.
No Slobbers, No Droolies,
and Follow the Rulies!
No Barkies at Strangies,
No Biting the Neighbies,
No Chewies on Shoesies
Or Glovies, Just Lovies.
No Stinkies, no Kinkies,
No Begging with Blinkies.
No Farties, Just Smarties,
and No Doggie Parties!
No Tooties, Just Cuties!
No Puddles, Just Cuddles!
No Squealies, No Scoldies,
Just Wet Nosy Coldies.
Don’t Jump like a Froggie,
and Be a Good Doggie.
Just Tinkle Your Taggies
While Smiling with Waggies.
The End